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  • Writer's pictureNate Methot

Am I ALS?

It's difficult to separate myself from ALS. I know that my having this incurable, terminal disease shouldn't define me. But it kind of does. I know that I'm more than that, even if that's how I'm seen. But in my own head, I have a hard time separating the two: me, and ALS.


When I read "ALS sucks" or "Fuck ALS," it almost feels like an insult. This monster's been with me for over a decade; it's had a greater impact and is a bigger part of me than anything else. We've gotten quite cozy. Is this Stockholm syndrome?


Maybe it sounds like semantics, but it's too strong a feeling to dismiss. Who are you? What is it that makes you, you? How does the world see you and how do you see yourself?


Describe yourself to a stranger. What do you say? Is it what you do, what you like, or your physical appearance that matters? It's all of these things, of course. But if you're like me, one three-letter monster has come in and changed them all. Could someone walk you through London after the Battle of Britain, or New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina without mentioning those tragic events?


Of course not. Widespread bombing and flooding change everything. And that's how I feel. ALS has changed what I do, and therefore what I like; and most notably to an observer, it's irrevocably changed my appearance more than any mere disaster changed a city. And so, how can I say it's not a part of me?


I can't. It's inarguably the single biggest factor in who I am. People ask me if I like to write; some of them scrunch up their faces in disgust at the thought. I like to communicate; that's what it's about more than anything. But the truth is, I don't know if I like it. It's something I've found in my circumstances. If I could walk and run and hike and ski and golf and had a career and a family and could travel on vacations; if I could do what I wanted, how much time would I spend grinding out words in front of a screen? Not much.


If ALS is the cause of every moment of my day, the things I do and like and my physical appearance―even, perhaps most powerfully, the thoughts in my head―it is me. It's undeniable. I don't know who I am without ALS. I don't have a clue where I'd be.

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Linda Brooke Wolfgram
Linda Brooke Wolfgram
29 Oca 2023

I’m glad you like writing because you are so talented and I really enjoy reading it. I’m new to your blog but I love your book and it brings such awareness and education to people like me who have been blessed to not have to experience ALS in person. I have a new appreciation for every movement my body does, each word I can easily verbalize and every breath I take. After reading your book I feel like I know you and understand some of the challenges you overcome daily. You are a hero and I pray for you daily as well as other PALS. As a newly retired oncology nurse I have spent time with many people undergoing diffic…

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griggdeb
13 Oca 2023

Hey Nate😊, Thank you for sharing your journey. I am going to buy your book. ALS is definitely a game changer for so many people. I hate to see it affect anyone but affecting young people like yourself is especially hard to see. (I have three children… 29, 26, and 17.) I pray that you keep trying and writing! You express yourself very well! 👍🏼 Thank you. Debbie in SC

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Nate Methot
Nate Methot
14 Oca 2023
Şu kişiye cevap veriliyor:

Thanks so much, Debbie. I hope you like my book! I suspect that you will if you like the blog. I very much appreciate your support and let me know what you think! Nate

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